CAPE CANAVERAL, FL — A Reed Richards method session ended with Pedro Pascal wrapping himself around a Falcon 9 and getting launched into low Earth orbit. He now refuses re-entry until Grogu arrives, insisting the puppet is vital to his “space dad research.” “He needed to feel elasticity in his bones,” said Marvel rep Janet Morrison. Pascal reportedly deployed himself like a human parachute and now circles Earth every 90 minutes. Docked to the ISS via “impossible contortions,” Pascal broadcasts as Din Djarin. “I cannot return until the Child is in my custody,” he said. “My Reed Richards prep requires father-figure methodology and a cosmic parental bond.” Astronauts report he built a makeshift cradle and practices bottle-feeding a floating wrench. Disney offered a life-sized replica. He called it “insulting to the craft.” A space psychologist warned of “dangerous character immersion.” ILM’s puppet team is “seriously considering” launching the actual animatronic after Pascal threatened a “cosmic dad protest,” stretching himself across the Western Hemisphere. NASA cleared launch windows through next month, just in case.