MALIBU, CA — Rick Rubin launched a software company Monday with a novel plan. No code. No developers. Lots of incense. He walked through his beachfront studio, waved a bundle of palo santo, and said the app would manifest. Engineers were dismissed before lunch. The commit history now lists “Intention v1.0” and “Breathwork Patch.” He calls the process “vibes engineering.” It reportedly compiles in the soul. Sequoia led a $1 billion round after a silent demo. There was no screen. There were rugs, wind chimes, and a bowl of Himalayan salt. A Sequoia partner, Dana K., placed her hand over a MacBook and whispered, “I can feel the latency dropping.” Another investor said he heard microservices harmonize in D. Rubin nodded and adjusted a single fern. “The product will ship when the room is ready,” he said. “Right now it’s in pre-chorus.” A term sheet slid across a gong. Former developers looked confused but peaceful. Their severance packages included sage bundles and a playlist called “Continuous Integration.” A Jira board now contains three tickets: “Breathe,” “Listen,” and “Remove Ego.” QA has been replaced by a Labrador named Mastering. The company announced a security milestone after burning copal over a firewall diagram. Rubin says the stack is “monolithic but enlightened,” and will scale if the tide allows. The roadmap smells like sandalwood and inevitability. Rubin confirmed the MVP will launch “between sunset and whenever.” If it fails, he’ll remix the error.