The Westfield Cineplex 12 sparked a parental surge after a projectionist swapped Frozen for a Final Destination sequel during a Saturday matinee. “I dropped off my 7-year-old for singing snowmen,” said Jennifer Martinez. “I picked up a child calling the seesaw ‘a death trap’ and ‘major Final Destination vibes.’” The mistake, loaded by 19-year-old Brad Hutchinson after “a confusing morning,” ran 20 minutes before a chaperone flagged the ominous score. By Monday, playgrounds went quiet. “They just point at things and whisper about ‘suspicious timing,’” said monitor Susan Chen. A third-grader now performs “vibe checks” on jungle gyms. One kid gave a slide lecture on solar angles at 2:47 PM. “Trust me, doc, I’ve seen things,” a patient told child psychologist Dr. Margaret Thornfield. Swings scored an 8 on the kids’ “sus scale” for their “chainsaw-adjacent chain situation.” The theater apologized and offered Frozen 3 tickets. Many kids prefer home, “to watch ceiling fans.” A new three-person verification is in place. “I don’t know what ‘sus’ means,” admitted manager Tom Bradley. Contractors report calls about “rope snaps during maximum momentum.” OSHA allegedly flinched.