In a Vegas ceremony officiated by an Elvis who wasn’t sure if he was witnessing art or a prank, Gordon Ramsay and James Corden legally merged into a single entity: Gordon Corden. The pair promised “aggressive hospitality with a musical twist,” unveiling Hell’s Carpool Kitchen, where diners must belt Broadway while being judged for both pitch and pepper. The West Hollywood flagship opens next month. Focus groups endured shouted notes like, “The lamb is RAW, and so is your ‘Memory’!” and, “You’ve overcooked the salmon and undercooked your emotional commitment to Webber!” Psychologists call the vibe “personality whiplash,” as Gordon Corden pivots from raging at julienne cuts to leading “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Dr. Margaret Fieldstone, who has treated neither person, called it “a British rage-cook fused with aggressively cheerful variety hosting in C major.” Signature dish Donkey Wellington Surprise must be ordered mid-choreography, scored from one to “absolutely brilliant, you muppet.” Patrons report feeling insulted yet uplifted. One cried through “My Way,” then left five stars. A London outpost is planned; the menu rhymes. Asked about identity, Gordon Corden screamed, “IT’S SHOWTIME!” while seasoning risotto to the Jeopardy theme.