AUSTIN, TX—The Boring Company accidentally punched through an ornate vaulted ceiling into a bustling mole metropolis, prompting immediate legal threats and an itemized bill. Crews heard “very angry chittering,” then watched well-dressed rodents with tiny briefcases emerge speaking fluent English. Lead engineer Marcus Chen said chunks fell onto a miniature subway with turnstiles, electronic arrival boards, and ads for acorn insurance. “It’s more organized than most human transit systems,” he admitted. Alerted by a DM from @UndergroundUnited, Elon Musk arrived and offered free rides in the future tunnel. Mole mayor Cornelius Whiskers III, in a three-piece suit, rejected it. “We’ve had zoning permits since 1847,” he said at a surface presser. “Our ancestors didn’t dig these halls so a surface dweller could crater Mrs. Burrowsmith’s breakfast nook.” The firm Digger, Tunnel & Associates filed for $2.3 million over structural repairs, distress, and “catastrophic sunlight exposure.” City planner Jennifer Rodriguez confirmed deeds, survey maps, and superior waste tunnels. Musk paused drilling and praised their infrastructure, hinting at consultant roles. Whiskers vowed to sue topside but lamented the journey. “Your courthouse lighting is dreadful,” he said. “And where are the earthworm vendors?”