SEATTLE—Jeff Bezos unveiled AmazonSpirit, a $49.99 monthly service promising same-day delivery of messages, gifts, and apologies to the dead. He pitched it as “the ultimate disruption of the death industry,” built largely to keep pinging Steve Jobs. At an “Ethereal Fulfillment Center” with glowing belts, Bezos sent a fruit basket of perfectly round apples and a note: “Still thinking different? —Jeff.” Jobs’ estate immediately sued, arguing he never consented to posthumous packages. “Mr. Jobs requested a minimalist afterlife with no unnecessary notifications,” said attorney Margaret Thornfield. “These deliveries disrupt his eternal user interface.” The suit alleges packages left on wrong clouds and ignored celestial doorbells. Bezos waved it off, suggesting Jobs upgrade his spiritual cloud storage. “He’s on an outdated afterlife OS. Download the latest soul patch, expand bandwidth, done,” he said, adjusting his cowboy hat. Beta testers report misdeliveries to the wrong dimension. One cake landed at Purgatory’s loading dock, pending approval. Undeterred, Bezos teased “Prime Eternal” with resurrection add-ons and cherub drones. “Death is just the beginning of the customer journey,” he said.