GENEVA, SWITZERLAND — A Twitter spat between President Erdoğan and Prime Minister Mitsotakis over whose grandmother made better baklava has escalated into NATO’s stickiest crisis. Both nations now threaten Article 5 if judges show bias in the “Great Baklava Standoff of 2025,” prompting a move to a fortified Swiss venue and quiet monitoring of Europe’s honey reserves. Satellite images show convoys of phyllo and pistachios at border bases. “Enough pastry for a medium bakery for 847 years,” said Dr. Helena Müller of the Geneva Institute for Dessert Diplomacy. Turkey has deployed its Pastry Corps; Greece activated the Yiayia Reserve Unit of 200 grandmothers. “Unfavorable judging equals culinary aggression,” warned NATO’s Jens Stoltenberg. Markets panicked. Phyllo futures jumped 2,400% as a Greek frigate reportedly escorted clarified butter through the Aegean. Fifty chefs per side will bake for 72 hours under armed guard. Judges include a blindfolded Swiss, a Uruguayan critic, and someone who’s never tasted baklava. Turkey insists on recognition of “superior layering,” Greece on “ancestral phyllo superiority.” Odds favor a draw that offends both. Switzerland notes altitude complaints have already been filed.