Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen expanded the face-covering ban to every classroom, calling it vital to Danish identity. Violators face fines up to 10,000 kroner or expulsion. She vowed “no exceptions,” as officials shivered with bare cheeks in sub-zero wind. Administrators were trained to spot banned coverings. Cultural openness, she said, requires visible faces, even in February. Students replied with a pageant of masks. Roskilde security detained more than 200 undergrads in Halloween rubber, Venetian beaks, and full Star Wars canon. “One kid was the Little Mermaid,” sighed security chief Lars Andersen. Hospitals then reported frostbite spikes as citizens chose legality over scarves at -15°C. “My whole surgical team is technically illegal,” said Dr. Ingrid Nielsen. Medical unions threatened a strike unless scalpels and masks could coexist. Peak embarrassment arrived when Frederiksen’s five-year-old was detained for a Spider-Man mask at kindergarten. “Policy is policy,” a teacher said. The PM now seeks “clarifications” carving out winter, surgery, theater, and superhero-related learning. Opposition called Denmark “a place where doctors are criminals and five-year-olds are enemies of the state.”