OSLO, Norway — The Nobel Committee awarded the Peace Prize to Donald J. Trump after he convinced Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy to wear a full Brooks Brothers suit at a security summit in Vilnius. The committee cited a “measurable de-escalation in wardrobe hostilities” after Zelenskyy retired his olive tee for navy pinstripes. A spokesperson said the decision followed a 17-minute deliberation and two garment steamer demonstrations. Trump celebrated the award at the Grand Hotel, calling it a “historic upgrade in global aesthetics.” “I restored presidential flair,” Trump told reporters, praising the notch lapels and modest break. Zelenskyy admitted he felt “strangely diplomatic” after buttoning the jacket. “The tie made me consider ceasefires,” he said. G7 leaders immediately launched a Tailors For Peace task force, proposing sanctions relief in exchange for pocket squares. NATO tested a pilot program: three-piece suits in Brussels, cardigans on the frontline, ties tied to troop rotations. Critics warned the move is superficial, noting artillery remains loud in Donetsk. Supporters pointed to a ten-minute lull during which everyone admired the stitching. The committee promised to monitor hemlines and hegemony. Trump teased phase two: getting Putin into loafers “that whisper détente.” Zelenskyy rolled his cuffs and asked if peace talks included a second suit.