Taylor Swift has purchased Twitter/X from Elon Musk for $44 billion, citing her need for “a platform where I can block people without an algorithm inviting them back.” The deal closed after a cordial Austin meeting and one odd term: Musk wanted a breakup ballad. Swift agreed, then immediately rebranded the site SwiftSpace. “At his insistence, I wrote about our three-hour relationship,” Swift said at her Nashville studio. The single, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (Corporate Edition), debuted at No. 1, name-dropping hostile takeover clauses and NDAs that “cut deep like a knife.” New CTO Jack Antonoff unveiled friendship bracelet verification in 13 album-era colors. “Blue checks were arbitrary,” he said. “Now it’s how many Swift songs you ID in three seconds.” SwiftSpace features a Shake It Off filter that swaps insults for “You’re doing great, sweetie!” Musk celebrated on his final tweet: “Now I don’t do content moderation. Win-win.” He’ll fund Boring Burgers, a tunnel-themed restaurant chain. Coming soon: Era-based timelines and the slogan, “It’s Me, Hi, I’m the App, It’s Me.”