BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Serena Williams’ intimate dinner turned into an accidental sport when a playful roll from Venus drew a textbook backhand that lodged bread in the wall. “I’ve never seen topspin on a Parker House roll,” said Wolfgang Puck. He applauded before realizing the wall was now artisanal. Guests described “athletically impressive chaos” as Serena’s instincts took over. Will Smith ducked a flying lobster tail, toppled truffle risotto, and watched Serena overhead-smash it back. “She was calling shots like Wimbledon,” said Vera Wang from behind an overturned chair. “I heard ‘down the line!’ before a whole roasted chicken launched with surgical precision.” John McEnroe, on video call, called it her most dominant run since 2017, “with more béarnaise.” Barbara Corcoran tried the kitchen exit and was blocked by aggressive net play with salmon tartare. Soon deviled-egg drop shots and cross-court asparagus trapped the room. The dining room ended up a Jackson Pollock—edible, terrifying. Serena blinked, asked, “Did I win?” Guests crowned her with a gravy-soaked napkin: inaugural champion of Competitive Dining.