HAWTHORNE, CA—A supposed first contact veered into customer support when Elon Musk pitched a premium intergalactic subscription to a hovering Model Y he thought held aliens. It was the Kowalski family from Paramus, whose Tesla had been circling SpaceX after autopilot mistook a rocket for an oversized traffic cone. Musk sprinted to assemble “X-Space: Your Gateway to the Cosmos” while the car bobbed fifteen feet above the lot. “Next thing we know we’re in the air and this guy in a black T-shirt is shouting about monthly tiers,” said Frank Kowalski, 54. His wife begged to be lowered; Musk offered “Mars Express Premium.” Their 12-year-old livestreamed, captioning, “Tesla glitch has us literally floating rn #ElonMoments.” A UCLA expert blamed a rare conflict triggering Tesla’s internal “Hover Mode.” Tesla stock jumped 12% because, of course it did. The confusion ended when Mrs. Kowalski yelled they had New Jersey plates and wanted In-N-Out. Musk pivoted to a complimentary Neuralink consult and promised to add “Accidental Flight Mode” to premium. The family declined a free Cybertruck tied to an NDA.