Elon Musk has challenged Darth Vader to a lightsaber duel on Mars after the Sith Lord roasted the Cybertruck as “more geometrically offensive than the Emperor’s meditation chamber.” Musk vowed to “settle this with plasma swords on neutral ground,” unveiling a Tesla-powered blade he calls “the most thermodynamically efficient lightsaber in the galaxy.” He dismissed the Force as “marketing speak for poorly optimized power management.” The duel is set for Olympus Mons next Thursday at 3 PM EST, officiated by Herb Dean, who admits he’s “never dealt with Force chokes.” Vader, via the Imperial Communications Office, wheezed, “I find Lord Musk’s lack of formal lightsaber training… disturbing,” while conceding Musk’s talent for controversy. Disney+ snagged streaming rights for $50 million, with Joe Rogan on backup commentary, allegedly microdosing midi-chlorians. Vegas lists Vader as a heavy favorite, citing combat experience and supernatural vibes. Bookmakers fear Force lightning could fry the uplink. Musk claims Neuralink will download saber skills into his brain. Tesla stock jumped. Vader’s training continues, complicated by life support that “sounds like a broken vacuum,” but his core strength remains terrifying.