BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Gold’s Gym Beverly Hills evacuated Tuesday after Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s morning lifts registered a 4.2 quake, per USGS. It hit at 6:47 a.m., moments after he began a “Brahma Bull Deadlift” with an unreasonable stack of plates. Witnesses say he warmed up by hoisting what looked like a parked Prius. Latte foam in three zip codes did not survive. “I was on the elliptical when the building shook,” said member Patricia Hendricks, 34. “Then a primal roar. The Rock was deadlifting a small sedan. Maybe a Civic. Possibly a Corolla.” Security footage showed 2,847 pounds plus a 2019 Toyota Prius. Caltech seismologist Dr. Margaret Chen called it the first human-generated tectonic event. “The epicenter was under the squat rack,” she said, noting “volcanic leg presses” with concrete blocks and a Smart car. Kombucha displays in Malibu reportedly detonated. Johnson apologized on Instagram while casually curling a Ford F-150. “Sometimes greatness causes minor geological events,” he said. City engineers cordoned three blocks and labeled him a “Person of Geological Interest.” He has relocated to a Nevada desert, where he is benching a school bus over a crater. “Mother Earth is my spotter.”