DENVER — Local accountant Derek Pemberton, 34, discovered his college roommate secretly sold his DNA to fertility clinics across six continents for nearly a decade. The tip-off: 847 Father’s Day cards in 23 languages, many from kids with his cowlick and dimple. “I thought it was a prank,” he said, thumbing handmade cards. Translators confirmed messages like, “Thanks for my green eyes, Papa Derek.” The culprit, Marcus Chen, ran “Premium Genetic Solutions” from a dorm bathroom, harvesting tissues, shower hair, and glassware saliva. He peddled “Grade-A American Stock” for $500–$3,000 a sample, touting 20/20 vision and a solid GPA. “He said he’d be an entrepreneur,” Pemberton said. “I didn’t know I was the startup.” A reproductive ethicist called the case unprecedented and a legal nightmare. Birthday invites now arrive from countries Pemberton can’t locate. Single and formerly shopping for a goldfish, Pemberton is pitching United on a “Frequent Father” program and bulk-buying gifts. “Newsletter coming soon,” he said, pointing at a pin-studded world map. Chen, jailed in Beverly Hills, claimed he was “democratizing premium genetics.” Child support estimates top $2.3 million annually; lawyers seek a bulk rate.