Local nonna Francesca Benedetto opened “Nonna’s Great Wall of Flavor,” promising authentic Chinese cuisine learned from her neighbor’s cat. The 78-year-old, who’s never been east of Newark, serves Chow Mein Carbonara and Sweet-and-Sour Meatballs Parmigiana, insisting Mr. Whiskers is “very wise and very Asian-looking.” The Chinese Embassy filed a formal complaint. Diners report lo mein in marinara and prosciutto-stuffed fortune cookies. The crisis peaked when Ambassador Chen visited incognito and received “Peking Duck Marsala,” which was bologna in pizza dough covered in Ragu. “She threw dried oregano at a wok yelling, ‘Bada-bing, bada-boom!’” he wrote. “I asked for chopsticks; she handed me two breadsticks and winked.” She later emerged in a checkered-tablecloth kimono, bowing and shouting “Konnichiwa,” which she believes is Mandarin for “Mangia.” A blogger got General Tso’s as breaded cutlets with garlic bread and Parmesan. Francesca remains defiant, teasing Szechuan Lasagna and Wonton Ravioli Supreme. “In China, they probably put cheese on everything,” she said, stirring egg drop soup that smelled like Romano. “And fortune cookies need meat. Protein!” She adds: “Mr. Whiskers knows more than the so-called experts.”