SAN FRANCISCO — OpenAI CEO Sam Altman said all ChatGPT users must scan their eyeballs with his World Network orbs, uniting AI safety and his flailing Worldcoin in one glossy gaze. He called it a win-win-win. Pressed on the third win, he said, after a pause, “That one’s for humanity’s future,” beside a disco-ball medical orb. Users wondered why lasagna questions now require biometric surrender. “I asked about ricotta versus cottage cheese,” said Portland’s Jennifer Martinez, who must drive to Seattle to let a robot “look into my soul.” A Stanford privacy expert called it unprecedented. “It’s like Netflix making you get a logo tattoo,” she said. “Except the tattoo also makes Monopoly money valuable.” Altman waved off concerns, promising seconds-long scans and “free crypto,” pointing to a poster of a cartoon eyeball giving a thumbs-up. Those uneasy with biometrics could “try using Bing,” he said, with air quotes. The policy hits August 15, with a 30-day grace period and more orbs in malls and libraries. Early scanners get bonus Worldcoin and a sticker: “I Looked Into The Future And It Looked Back.”