LIBERTYVILLE, IL — Tom Morello’s custom ice cream truck has turned cul-de-sacs into tiny mosh pits. For three weeks it’s blasted Rage Against the Machine at concert volume, serving flavors like “Killing in the Name Of,” a black cherry swirl billed as resistance to corporate vanilla. Kids sprint from sprinklers to chant for revolutionary treats under murals of fists clutching cones. “These kids get it,” Morello said, handing out “Bulls on Parade” bomb pops to breathless seven-year-olds. “Vanilla versus chocolate is a false binary. The frozen dairy industrial complex wants compliance.” Parents report eight-year-olds demanding “Guerrilla Radio” rocket pops while shouting, “F*** you, I won’t do what you tell me.” One mom says her son formed the Ice Cream Liberation Front, picketing Dairy Queen with signs like “WAKE UP SHEEPLE—GOOD HUMOR IS A LIE.” The movement peaked at Riverside Park, where forty kids circle-pitted with “Testify” sandwiches and sticky-finger salutes. A park supervisor was drowned out by riffs and newfound political awareness. Morello plans more trucks and spicier flavors, including “Sleep Now in the Fire” jalapeño sherbet. “If eight-year-olds won’t topple dessert conformity, we’ve lost.”