Elon Musk unveiled “X-Swift,” a social platform for Taylor Swift fans, calling Twitter “an expensive tutorial on fan psychology.” Outside Tesla’s Fremont factory, he wore a friendship bracelet reading “PAPA ELON” and promised a “Shake It Off” block button and an AI lyric decoder “97.3% accurate” at naming exes. Silicon Valley blinked twice and refreshed portfolios. Swift answered at 3 a.m. with a 10-minute, 13-second opus, “Rocket Man (Compensation Song).” “He builds his rockets tall and proud / But we all know what that’s about,” she sang, as #RocketCompensation trended and Tesla slid 18% after-hours. Musk escalated on his own platform: “Taylor Swift vs. Elon Musk at the Colosseum. Winner gets all platforms. Loser admits their last album was mid.” NASA sighed audibly. Swift countered by threatening to re-record every SpaceX countdown with “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” sung in descending numbers. “Psychological warfare,” said Stanford’s Dr. Miranda Chen. Swifties organized Tesla charger boycotts. Musk promised beta access and 1,989 album-era Model S giveaways. Swift reportedly booked Nashville—with aerospace engineers.