HAWTHORNE, CA — Elon Musk reached Mars in 12 minutes using a prototype Iron Man suit, then discovered he forgot a bathroom. The triumph became crisis as his feed filled with “critical biological systems failure” posts and a poll on whether to “hold it” or “embrace the void.” One tweet at 3:47 AM PST asked, “URGENT: How to retrofit a toilet mid-orbit?” It drew 2.3 million replies, from emojis to zero‑G plumbing diagrams. NASA bioastronautics expert Dr. Sarah Chen praised the speed, questioned the priorities. “It’s like building the world’s fastest car but forgetting the steering wheel,” she said. She estimated a 12-minute return, assuming the suit holds while its pilot “experiences increasing discomfort.” Musk’s updates slid from swagger to pleading: “Mars is beautiful but I’m literally dying here.” He offered “$1 billion for a bathroom. No lowballers. Cash only.” SpaceX is pushing a software fix and calling Tesla about car seats. The ISS was contacted for parts; shipping remains tricky. Musk’s bio now reads “Stranded billionaire seeking bathroom solutions.” He also launched GoFundMe: “Help Elon Pee,” already at $12,000. Poll options now include “risk suit integrity” or “Martian soil.”