WASHINGTON—Moments after the Court expanded presidential immunity, Donald Trump was seen on the South Lawn crackling blue lightning from his fingertips. “Unlimited power!” he cackled, nailing a Palpatine impression as tourists scattered. Secret Service agent Maria Rodriguez called it “deeply unsettling,” adding, “We’ve seen strange things, but a former president shooting lightning wins.” Witnesses agreed it was not a parlor trick. The spectacle turned uglier when CNN’s Jake Tapper asked about Trump’s tax returns. Trump extended a hand, made a squeeze, and Tapper reportedly rose three feet, gasping. “I find your lack of faith disturbing,” Trump allegedly said. Dr. Kevin O’Connor later diagnosed “telekinetic strangulation,” a first for the office. Legal scholars scrambled. Laurence Tribe noted Article II likely excludes “dark side throttling.” Trump attorney Alina Habba countered that Force acts are “official business.” Trump sensed “a disturbance” and departed, warning reporters they’d “underestimated his power.” The White House installed “Force-resistant barriers” and scheduled lightsaber drills. Officials said they’re consulting the Jedi Council. A hooded figure was last seen cackling from the Lincoln Memorial.